I have returned, with my Aeneid or Cicero excerpts still un-memorized

My Cicero excerpt is an excerpt from his First Catilinarian Oration, which is a speech he gave as consul of the Republic of Rome in 63 BC against a man named Cataline, who he claimed was conspirating against Rome (he probably was). Cicero put on quite an act - he made the speech wearing an armored breastplate to protect himself from Cataline's supposed assassins. He even called the senate assembly to which he was giving the speech in a temple for Jupiter which was atop the Palatine hill, making it more easily defendable than the less strategically positioned Curia. Cicero's speech opens with:

Quo usque tandem abutere, Catalina, patienta nostra? Quam diu etiam furor iste tuus nos eludet? Quem ad finem sese effrenata iactabit audacia? Nihilne te nocturnum praesidium Palati, nihil urbis vigiliae, nihil timor populi, nihil concurus bonorum omnium, nihil hic munitissimus habendi senatus, nihil horum ora vultusque moverunt? Patere tua consilia non sentis, constrictam iam horum omnium scientia teneri coniurationem tuam non vides? Quid promixa, quid superiore nocte egeris, ubi fueris, quos convocaveris, quid consili ceperis, quem nostrum ignorare arbitraris?

This all roughly translates to:

How long, Cataline, how long will you abuse our patience? How much longer will that madness of yours mock us still? To what limit will he boast with unrestrained audacity? In no way at all did the nocturnal defense of the Palatine, in no way at all did the night watches of the city, in no way at all did the fear of the people, in no way at all did the gathering of all good, in no way at all did the most fortified place of the senate's hold, in no way at all did the faces and wounds of all these move you? Can you not perceive to be obvious in your plan, can you you not see that your plot is choked off and is being held back with the knowledge of all these men? What you did last night, what you did the night before, where you were, who you called together, what plan you adopted, whom of us did you suppose to be ignorant of these things?

Ha Ha Ha!

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.

He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."

They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.

The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "Lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.

"Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

It Sucks

There's really no other way to say it -- MyIE2 sucks ass! This is not an opinion, it's a fact I am now aware of after trying to get this bug-ridden loser to work correctly.

I installed this giant turd to try and regain tabbed browsing funtionality in Internet Explorer 6. Mozilla Firefox went ape-shit and died, prompting me to uninstall it. It's obviously not ready for prime time.

Here's what I found:

- MyIE2 is nothing more than a frontend for Internet Explorer, and has more eye candy than a Sweet Shoppe. This slowed down web browsing significantly.

New pages would open in a tab, but you have to click on that tab to see the page.

- After an hour of searching, I found the buried setting to take care of the problem listed above.

- A serious bug makes the Google tool bar useless (this was the kicker). Click on the search bar, try to type something in, and for some reason the cursor disappears. Suddenly the shift bar scrolls the browser window. It's a lesson in futility to try and backspace to correct mistakes typed into the Google bar.

- The same problem appears when using the standard MyIE2 search bar -- the cursor disappears and you have to click several times in the search bar to complete a search entry. What a treat!

- Support is pretty much nonexistant. Everyone seems happy with the functionality of this toilet floater. I don't know why.

This piece of putrid yak dung is gone, history, Adios! I suggest you do the same, and send the message, "I'm not gonna take it anymore!"

The sunset

want to eat

Shitty Snuff

Whilst I was at uni, my friend and myself got into the habit of doing snuff. On this occasion, being winter, we had a menthol one that looked just like a white powder...

We were both in a club pissed up, chatting when my mate suddenly says to me 'yeah, yeah...anyway I've just shat myself.'

Laughing we both go off to the toilet. My mate goes into a cubicle and starts cleaning himself up and using a broken bottle starts to cut off his shitridden pants.

Laughing outside the cubicle, I decide to have a bit of snuff. So there's me snorting white powder off my wrist - when 3 blokes walk in and see me. They start demanding I give them some 'coke' and things get a bit nasty when they dont believe its only snuff. A scuffle soon ensued, ending with my mate flinging open the cubicle door - standing there naked from the waist down, with shit on his legs, shit on his hands, a broken bottle in one hand and a pair of shitty pants in the other "Leave my f*cking mate alone you c*nts!!"

They did. Quickly. The expression of horror and fear on their faces was priceless.

in the sand