Words were spoken, ideas exchanged and I hope that J. understands her role in the matter and takes responsibility for her actions and learns from them, as I take responsibility for mine. That said, I can move on and go on with my life. Yes, I am hurt, but life hurts anyway. You fall, get scraped, tend to your wounds and scars and move the fuck on. It's a pity something so good didn't last, but thanks anyway. In many ways I did see it coming and I enjoyed it as long as it did. Short and sweet, but for her sake, I hope she gets over her issues.
J you said todays that I'll always be your angel and your knight in shining armor. Unfortunately how can I be your knight if I you're not my damsel and how can I be your angel when you cut off my wings? Riddle me that, darling.... Contradictions galore.
Change is coming and I can feel it. More like a cathartic kind of change. It is needed and it is welcome.
In other news, part of me wants to sort out something with someone who cares for me a lot and I'm the one who can't return her feelings, but that same part knows that even though we have lots of things in common and we do enjoy each other 's company and we care lots for each other, I cannot fully return all that is given to me. It's fucking hard and fucking sad and it kills me because if there is someone in this world that deserves lots of good things, it's her.
Life is so fucking unfair it's not even funny, but I cannot dwell on that. I have to be grateful with many aspects of my lot in life. I have to follow that proverb: "Change the things you can, accept the things you can't and learn to know the difference". If it were that easy.
