Otro dia mas, which isn't bad actually

Words were spoken, ideas exchanged and I hope that J. understands her role in the matter and takes responsibility for her actions and learns from them, as I take responsibility for mine. That said, I can move on and go on with my life. Yes, I am hurt, but life hurts anyway. You fall, get scraped, tend to your wounds and scars and move the fuck on. It's a pity something so good didn't last, but thanks anyway. In many ways I did see it coming and I enjoyed it as long as it did. Short and sweet, but for her sake, I hope she gets over her issues.


J you said todays that I'll always be your angel and your knight in shining armor. Unfortunately how can I be your knight if I you're not my damsel and how can I be your angel when you cut off my wings? Riddle me that, darling.... Contradictions galore.

Change is coming and I can feel it. More like a cathartic kind of change. It is needed and it is welcome.

In other news, part of me wants to sort out something with someone who cares for me a lot and I'm the one who can't return her feelings, but that same part knows that even though we have lots of things in common and we do enjoy each other 's company and we care lots for each other, I cannot fully return all that is given to me. It's fucking hard and fucking sad and it kills me because if there is someone in this world that deserves lots of good things, it's her.

Life is so fucking unfair it's not even funny, but I cannot dwell on that. I have to be grateful with many aspects of my lot in life. I have to follow that proverb: "Change the things you can, accept the things you can't and learn to know the difference". If it were that easy.

Family

All of my kids are at the apartment today.

I made the scalloped corn, green bean casserole, and cornbread last night. Today was stuffing-a-rama (apple walnut raisin and oh my god it's good...) and I put in the turkey about 30 minutes ago. Woo hoo! A little football, a little horsing around, a little free online games.

Later today, we'll all gather round the laptop and donate $50 to the soldiers overseas through one of the web sites that Glenn Reynolds lists. As a family, we'll decide which one.

We're having a great time... I love my family and I'm very thankful that I get to be a part of their lives.

Woody

We received our 'pile' of wood yesterday for the camp fires we plan to have in the summer. Wow! The pile is taller than I am (5' 5") and almost as wide as the house when stacked two deep.

I never realized how much wood is included in a cord. Now, I'll have to reconfigure my storage area to stack it all up nice and neat. The guy who delivered the load said he split it all by hand. This has GOT to be one helluva job, swinging an axe (or maul in the wood-splitting language) to make big pieces of wood smaller. He said he's is saving up for a log splitter to make the job easier. I wish him luck, considering the pile that he delivered.

Honors

I was inducted into the local Phi Theta Kappa chapter last evening. It was a nice ceremony, and there were about 80 people who became members of the two-year college honor society. One thing that impresse me was they did not dwell on it -- the ceremonty was quick and painless. I've never put much stock into ceremony. Even in the military, I did not enjoy getting up in front of a group of people to receive an award. It just wasn't me.

Now, we'll see if it's worth the trouble to participate in some of the activities they have planned. After all, I pretty much went through the ceremony for a resume bullet.

Shocking!

Really shocking things that I've heard and I'm totally distraught by them.All this time I never knew all these things and no one said anything to me.I'm sure they have been talking about it with each other but never with me.Why couldn't they have let me know instead of leaving it like this and then now decide that they can't take it anymore and turn their backs?In the first place all those things should have been brought up and misunderstandings would have been cleared.I truely think it is all misunderstandings from all the things that I've heard tho its not all of it cos I'm sure there is more. And in some ways its the problem of communication. Sometimes things can't really be put into words that's why I strongly feel that talking things out thru the net is the worst place and lotsa misinterpretations of words would occur in which it has happened. From what I've heard they would rather have the whole group together to talk it out but I feel that the problem lies with the individual and should be solved personally.I know that I should not put too much hope on this cos the mind is strongwilled and is dificult to change in thinking tho it is all misunderstanding.Whatever happens...so be it.From this I learn that it doesn't pay to be straight forward for the person's own good.

I have returned, with my Aeneid or Cicero excerpts still un-memorized

My Cicero excerpt is an excerpt from his First Catilinarian Oration, which is a speech he gave as consul of the Republic of Rome in 63 BC against a man named Cataline, who he claimed was conspirating against Rome (he probably was). Cicero put on quite an act - he made the speech wearing an armored breastplate to protect himself from Cataline's supposed assassins. He even called the senate assembly to which he was giving the speech in a temple for Jupiter which was atop the Palatine hill, making it more easily defendable than the less strategically positioned Curia. Cicero's speech opens with:

Quo usque tandem abutere, Catalina, patienta nostra? Quam diu etiam furor iste tuus nos eludet? Quem ad finem sese effrenata iactabit audacia? Nihilne te nocturnum praesidium Palati, nihil urbis vigiliae, nihil timor populi, nihil concurus bonorum omnium, nihil hic munitissimus habendi senatus, nihil horum ora vultusque moverunt? Patere tua consilia non sentis, constrictam iam horum omnium scientia teneri coniurationem tuam non vides? Quid promixa, quid superiore nocte egeris, ubi fueris, quos convocaveris, quid consili ceperis, quem nostrum ignorare arbitraris?

This all roughly translates to:

How long, Cataline, how long will you abuse our patience? How much longer will that madness of yours mock us still? To what limit will he boast with unrestrained audacity? In no way at all did the nocturnal defense of the Palatine, in no way at all did the night watches of the city, in no way at all did the fear of the people, in no way at all did the gathering of all good, in no way at all did the most fortified place of the senate's hold, in no way at all did the faces and wounds of all these move you? Can you not perceive to be obvious in your plan, can you you not see that your plot is choked off and is being held back with the knowledge of all these men? What you did last night, what you did the night before, where you were, who you called together, what plan you adopted, whom of us did you suppose to be ignorant of these things?

Ha Ha Ha!

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.

He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."

They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.

The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "Lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.

"Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."